Ever hear someone who is really optimistic?  We often think of optimism as a positive trait or thought pattern.  You know, the glass is half full kind of person? 

Here is where I am on this; optimism is attachment to the best possible outcome. 

Once we get attached to an outcome, we set ourselves up for disappointment. 

Pessimism is attachment to the worst possible outcome.  It is still attachment and while our expectations may be exceeded, attachment itself leads to disappointment (we were wrong).

Realism is our best estimate of what can happen, realizing that things may happen differently than we estimate, either better, less well, or just differently.  It is also without attachment to any particular outcome.

This now takes us to working effectively with realism.  We do this by being positive. 

Being positive involves accepting what is, considering what may be, and knowing things happen for a reason. Being Polly Anna-ish and “looking for the glad.”    That is, what is the opportunity inherent in what ever situation one faces.

I like train metaphors lately, and I have one for this.

Let’s say we are laying on the tracks in the middle of the wilderness far off from civilization and kind of hungry. 

Being optimistic is, train will stop when it comes to me and feed me.

Being pessimistic is, train will never come, or train will run me over when it gets here. 

Being realistic is, looking around, noticing that the tracks look well used (signs of recent train passing like fresh trash), figuring the train will come fairly soon.  Also, that if I stay on the tracks, I will get run over, or if I get off the tracks, I probably won’t be run over.  And, that if I just hang around, the train probably won’t stop. 

You may notice, being realistic is a bit more Al Gore and a bit less George W.  Bush.  Realism doesn’t always fit into a sound bite.

Now with this realism, we can be negative or positive. 

Being negative, we would focus on the big train not stopping for little us.   This is defeatist thinking.

Being positive, we could build a station, and possibly the train might stop for that, or we could build a small fire about 200 yards up the tracks, the train would probably stop for that.  This is looking for how to utilize the opportunity we reasonably expect to happen.  In the mean time, maybe we eat a few roots or shoots or do the survival man thing and eat bugs; cause, the train may still take a bit of time to get here; and, we wanna be alive for it when it comes.

Without going into all the possible options on being positive or negative with pessimism (worst case attachment) or optimism (best case attachment), suffice it to say, we leave out all the whole range of likely outcomes by being focused and attached to the best or worst case outcomes, leaving out the likely outcomes.

If you watch Polly Anna again, you will notice she is a supreme realist.  She just looks for the glad, or the opportunity for benefit, with gratitude and acceptance for what is.  Smart girl she.

Peace and gratitude,

Yucel