Thanks for sharing.

Love what you say about “constant surrender to the moment allows that inner voice to become one’s ture and unfailing compass.”

Being present is such a blessing, isn’t it?

Presently yours,
Yucel

From walking down the aisle, yes, it was an excitement from fear, from dreading the future resulting from any choice I made. That adrenaline kicked in but with a sense of dread and fear resulting from the conscious denial of my intuition to walk away from the wedding and what would have been thought of me if I indeed had made that choice. My father was a non-factor here; at the age of 30 I knew I had to make my own decisions and neither of my parents cared for my ex.

I have had similar feelings and have been able to face them with full courage. That means I need no one’s approval. Sure, love and unconditional and acceptance – we all want that. Approval no longer necessary. So it’s easier to act within my authenticity – and whether that’s a wise or ego-based decision is my own to bear, but knowing that my value and worthiness are affected by neither, I feel free to choose and act and be accountable.

The feelings of excitement are short-lived – my gauge is often once that edge has worn – how do I feel? Fearful of what comes next? Or calm, at peace, joyful? I think the constant surrender to the moment allows that inner voice to become one’s true and unfailing
compass.

Love, hugs, Claire

Thank you for sharing. If I may, might I ask you to clarify a bit further as I do not know the details and am a bit unclear on the meaning which details would clarify. Maybe use another story if this one is too close to home. With regards to walking down the aisle, was this fealing it was the wrong thing and wishing for a courage or help from your father which waslacking? Or was it the right thing somehow that your father helped you through, and maybe that’s why he was there? Other? Again, please use another story if this one is too close to home.

How should it have go were it to go again with similar feeligns? And, what would you do if experiencing the same or similar feelings? (Let’s say you were to do this with full courage?)
Gratitude and hugs,
Yucel

I enjoy reading your thoughts and appreciate your sharing.

I believe seeing something as positive or negative is a judgement in that there is a need to characterize something or someone as good/not good in our essentially myopic perspective. Discernment is I think an acknowledgement that there isn’t enough clarity to make a judgement- more an intuitive observation. For example, a friend of mine wishes to date again. He has some ‘rules’ or non-negotiables – a likely candidate would be at least 2 years out of divorce, if applicable, has no major addictions, strives a healthy lifestyle, is emotionally available, etc. Now, he doesn’t date online so this ‘profiling’ isn’t built-in. He meets women through other friends. He has told me that after a phone call with a ‘referral’ that his discernment led him to believe that a) she is not 2 years out of a divorce b) she is not emotionally available. The judgement kicks in when he decides they are not meant to be a couple and will not pursue such a possibility.

I enjoyed your dental metaphor. I think your question included the answer. You did the best you could with your teeth right? You brushed, you flossed and sometimes the cavities still show up and you still need that root canal. It’s a sort of ‘no pain no gain’ feeling of strain before the endorphins kick in after a long run or a sprint up Camelback. You still know it’s good for you. Now if you allow me to be so intimate, I can disclose to you that I cried walking down the aisle. I literally didn’t want my Dad to let me go when he gave me away. I knew I could choose to not go through with it. The wave of nausea that overcame me was quickly abated by the shame I knew I would feel if I stopped what was happening, so I didn’t. That’s not excitement.

With regard to C>, notwithstanding, air, water and food, I feel that any anxiety is a loss of peace rooted in a belief that I lack something, and that’s an ego thought. The tenet of Real Love: Unconditionally caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. So there is a recognition that in essence we are the infinite source of that love and behaviors not reflecting that are a temporary forgetting. We are built to give. So last weekend, I was *excited* to see my friend and his dog at a bike race time station, and upon seeing them, I experienced joy. Was I attached to seeing them? No.

On the flip side, I have been infatuated with this oncologist with whom I am good friends. Do I need him? No. Do I need a relationship? No. Do I want a relationship? I would be lying if I said I did not. Have I been unconditionally loving by being sad and disappointed by the lack of reciprocation of my affections? Absolutely not. But I still acknowledge these are ego thoughts. The truth is: I need nothing to be whole, complete. I have been reading a lot about the Buddha and extricating oneself from all the worldly wants to experience that truth- it ain’t easy! The final frontier is within.

Love, hugs, Claire

It is interesting to think of joy or ecstasy as an internal experience and the way you describe it, it does appear to be so. And, it does usually come by surrendering into it…

Isn’t seeing something as a positive or a negative sometimes just discernment? And, how can we distinquish between discernment and judgement?

So much of what is taught in mystical schools is about presence. I was actually thinking of writing about that today. And, I see how anxiety leading to joy can be jittery fidgeting. However, what if we are anxious about something that is not going to necessarily lead to joy; however, is definitely going to serve us,… for instance, anxiety about going to the dentist to get our teeth cleaned and checked? It kind of feels like the twisting from having done something wrong… when we may have taken very good care of our teeth and have never had a cavity. How can we know this axiety is just jitters and not a warn off from going in the wrong direction?

You answer to C, about the twisting from something not in ones highest good coming from an external locus, that is an interesting thought. Can you give some examples? Have you found this always to be the case? I’d like to explore this much further with you. It would be a ready made indicator if it is so.

Peace and thanks!

Yucel