I’m afraid this post is going to be really fabulous…. ha! Have you ever noticed how what we fear may be what manifests in our life over and over and over again? Thus making us even more confident in our fear?
Confidence in fear! What a concept. It does seem to ring true however. The law of attraction dictates that what we focus on or have feelings about we manifest. Thus, if we have fear of something occurring: so it shall.
A concept I have been exposed to recently in an introduction to “Soul Dance” and “Avatar” seminars by Sunil Ahuja, website: http://www.integral-transformation.com , I will paraphrase by saying, that when one holds a superlative belief, its opposite may manifest.
For example, if we believe we are totally honest, we may attract liars. Why? How can this be? We attract what we are, yes? Well, yes. Until we dig deeper into our psyches and find, that by believing we are totally honest, that implies everyone else is perhaps less honest than goodie good us. Thus, others are varying degrees of liars. If we believe others are varying degrees of liars, well, then we are right; and, we attract liars.
Sunil’s course deals with how to unwind and diffuse these subconscious and unconscious patterns. I hope to be partaking in more on this and will keep you all posted on some of the gems. It’s all a journey after all, yes?
So, that said, how do we deal with areas where we are less than comfortable. There are all the normal tools for how to pick better feeling thoughts. One shift we can make in the churning of fear in our bellies, is to look for excitement. What excites us?
As I write this, it kind of hit me, excitement is a kind of positive anticipation. Fear is a kind of negative anticipation. We are excited to maybe win the lottery. We fear not winning and losing the $1.00 on the ticket. Both are anticipation, one positive, one negative.
Interestingly, both of these feelings can run around our guts and in our guts can feel somewhat similar. It is important to learn how to distinguish between fear and excitement in our guts. Our stomach always knows if something is right for us or not. Be present and listen to this whenever possible, and discern rightly.
There really is nothing to fear after all. Secure in our knowledge and faith that everything happens for a reason. So, what we really need to do is to find something to be excited about. Our stomach is a compass which we must learn to read accurately. One of the Pearl Cards from Real Love states something to the effect of, “when we feel bad, we are thinking or doing something wrong” website: http://www.reallove.com/ .
I think choosing excitement over fear is better way to go. And, when the twisting is still there, that is grounded in fear, then perhaps the direction we are going still needs change.
Still, I have struggled with how to tell, is the twisting in my gut fear? Is it excitement? Is it a warning of going the wrong way or just excitement?
Would love input from the gallery on how to more clearly discern whether this gut twist is excitement or a warning of thinking or doing something wrong. For me, the feelings are still very similar. While I am getting better at this discernment, it is difficult for me to quantify. Help?
Peaceful excitement be with you,
Yucel
Thank you Yucel – it was great to reflect on this.
I can definitely relate to the “top of the rollercoaster” feeling in the pit of my gut – whether it’s seeing a relative or friend I haven’t seen in years or my intuition anticipating someone is going to do or say something that may disturb my hopefully peaceful state.
Now, I may be going out on a limb here but excitement perhaps might be a feeling of joy – the fulfillment of something I perceive as positive or maybe even beyond that – blissful.
My guidepost? Is the joy for me or is it for someone else? Real love, peace and joy are rooted in the truth that I need nothing to be complete, welcome and worthy. So if the excitement I experience is primarily about me “getting my cookies” then more than likely an ego need being met. If it’s about supporting and celebrating another – that’s something to be excited about 🙂
Love and hugs,
Claire
Hello Claire,
I am intregued with you are going with this about whether the excitement locus is internal or external. Can you clarify a bit further for us in the following areas as you see it:
A> Depending the locus of joy being internal or external, is this if it is joy, something positive in all cases or just in the external? And why?
B> Is this feeling separate from the twisting that comes from axiety about going in the wrong direction? If yes, how?
C> How do you feel that the twisting from going in the wrong direction (aside from excitement, just the axiety part) also is effected by the internal/external locus?
Peace and gratitude,
Yucel
Yucel-
I appreciate your question – inasmuch as we are able to grasp some understanding via text on a screen 🙂
A> Joy or perhaps even ecstasy is an internal experience. I think this actually goes beyond positive or negative, because these entail judgement. I think joy-bliss-ecstasy are experientially complete surrender to the moment and embracing whatever is truly present. This can be quite painful actually, but to quote from Frou Frou’s “Let Go” – “…cause there’s beauty in the breakdown…” Now I qualify this is an internal experience because we are mirrors for one another, as you alluded in a previous post. You could be completely blissed out in my presence and radiate joy but if I am unable to share that experience, if I am stuck in my own muck and mire…
B> I believe both feelings can sport an adrenaline jolt. I think this joyful feeling is distinct from the twisting that comes from anxiety about going in the wrong direction because that feeling of anxiety, I believe stems from fearful resistance and the inability to choose ‘rightly’ at that moment. Physically for me it is different; this type of anxiety is often accompanied by fidgeting and generally a jittery and nervous deportment. The experience of ecstasy can be a rush, but personally, more than anything it’s a feeling of rooted presence – awareness and mindfulness without distraction.
C> I feel that the twisting that comes along with the choice of something contrary to one’s intuition (and probably one’s highest good) is all about an external locus because such choices reflect a belief, albeit temporary, in some sort of lack that seeks to fulfill itself from some external condition or experience.
Love, hugs,
Claire
Wow Claire, Like where you are going with this.
It is interesting to think of joy or ecstasy as an internal experience and the way you describe it, it does appear to be so. And, it does usually come by surrendering into it…
Isn’t seeing something as a positive or a negative sometimes just discernment? And, how can we distinquish between discernment and judgement?
So much of what is taught in mystical schools is about presence. I was actually thinking of writing about that today. And, I see how anxiety leading to joy can be jittery fidgeting. However, what if we are anxious about something that is not going to necessarily lead to joy; however, is definitely going to serve us,… for instance, anxiety about going to the dentist to get our teeth cleaned and checked? It kind of feels like the twisting from having done something wrong… when we may have taken very good care of our teeth and have never had a cavity. How can we know this axiety is just jitters and not a warn off from going in the wrong direction?
You answer to C, about the twisting from something not in ones highest good coming from an external locus, that is an interesting thought. Can you give some examples? Have you found this always to be the case? I’d like to explore this much further with you. It would be a ready made indicator if it is so.
Peace and thanks!
Yucel
Happy day Yucel –
I enjoy reading your thoughts and appreciate your sharing.
I believe seeing something as positive or negative is a judgement in that there is a need to characterize something or someone as good/not good in our essentially myopic perspective. Discernment is I think an acknowledgement that there isn’t enough clarity to make a judgement- more an intuitive observation. For example, a friend of mine wishes to date again. He has some ‘rules’ or non-negotiables – a likely candidate would be at least 2 years out of divorce, if applicable, has no major addictions, strives a healthy lifestyle, is emotionally available, etc. Now, he doesn’t date online so this ‘profiling’ isn’t built-in. He meets women through other friends. He has told me that after a phone call with a ‘referral’ that his discernment led him to believe that a) she is not 2 years out of a divorce b) she is not emotionally available. The judgement kicks in when he decides they are not meant to be a couple and will not pursue such a possibility.
I enjoyed your dental metaphor. I think your question included the answer. You did the best you could with your teeth right? You brushed, you flossed and sometimes the cavities still show up and you still need that root canal. It’s a sort of ‘no pain no gain’ feeling of strain before the endorphins kick in after a long run or a sprint up Camelback. You still know it’s good for you. Now if you allow me to be so intimate, I can disclose to you that I cried walking down the aisle. I literally didn’t want my Dad to let me go when he gave me away. I knew I could choose to not go through with it. The wave of nausea that overcame me was quickly abated by the shame I knew I would feel if I stopped what was happening, so I didn’t. That’s not excitement.
With regard to C>, notwithstanding, air, water and food, I feel that any anxiety is a loss of peace rooted in a belief that I lack something, and that’s an ego thought. The tenet of Real Love: Unconditionally caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. So there is a recognition that in essence we are the infinite source of that love and behaviors not reflecting that are a temporary forgetting. We are built to give. So last weekend, I was *excited* to see my friend and his dog at a bike race time station, and upon seeing them, I experienced joy. Was I attached to seeing them? No.
On the flip side, I have been infatuated with this oncologist with whom I am good friends. Do I need him? No. Do I need a relationship? No. Do I want a relationship? I would be lying if I said I did not. Have I been unconditionally loving by being sad and disappointed by the lack of reciprocation of my affections? Absolutely not. But I still acknowledge these are ego thoughts. The truth is: I need nothing to be whole, complete. I have been reading a lot about the Buddha and extricating oneself from all the worldly wants to experience that truth- it ain’t easy! The final frontier is within.
Love, hugs, Claire
Hello Claire,
Thank you for sharing. If I may, might I ask you to clarify a bit further as I do not know the details and am a bit unclear on the meaning which details would clarify. Maybe use another story if this one is too close to home. With regards to walking down the aisle, was this fealing it was the wrong thing and wishing for a courage or help from your father which waslacking? Or was it the right thing somehow that your father helped you through, and maybe that’s why he was there? Other? Again, please use another story if this one is too close to home.
How should it have go were it to go again with similar feeligns? And, what would you do if experiencing the same or similar feelings? (Let’s say you were to do this with full courage?)
Gratitude and hugs,
Yucel
Hey Yucel –
From walking down the aisle, yes, it was an excitement from fear, from dreading the future resulting from any choice I made. That adrenaline kicked in but with a sense of dread and fear resulting from the conscious denial of my intuition to walk away from the wedding and what would have been thought of me if I indeed had made that choice. My father was a non-factor here; at the age of 30 I knew I had to make my own decisions and neither of my parents cared for my ex.
I have had similar feelings and have been able to face them with full courage. That means I need no one’s approval. Sure, love and unconditional and acceptance – we all want that. Approval no longer necessary. So it’s easier to act within my authenticity – and whether that’s a wise or ego-based decision is my own to bear, but knowing that my value and worthiness are affected by neither, I feel free to choose and act and be accountable.
The feelings of excitement are short-lived – my gauge is often once that edge has worn – how do I feel? Fearful of what comes next? Or calm, at peace, joyful? I think the constant surrender to the moment allows that inner voice to become one’s true and unfailing
compass.
Love, hugs, Claire
Hi Claire,
Thanks for sharing.
Love what you say about “constant surrender to the moment allows that inner voice to become one’s ture and unfailing compass.”
Being present is such a blessing, isn’t it?
Presently yours,
Yucel