Category Archives: Presence

Grateful that there are those less fortunate than yourself?

Ever feel grateful to realize that there is someone less fortunate than yourself?  Someone less beautiful?  Some who has even less money?  More debt?  Greater pain?  More grief?  Etc?

Have you even perhaps tried the exercise of thinking of those less fortunate to feel better?  Telling yourself that this makes you grateful?  Perhaps teaching your children this exercise?  Maybe you learned this exercise at home from parents or grand parents yourself?

Have you ever considered why this may feel better?

Being grateful that there are those less fortunate than yourself is a form of “misery likes company”.

Being grateful in this way is in fact a form of misery.   An insidious form of expanded misery that requires others be miserable.  A multiplicity of misery.

This is a form of misery we feel is alleviated by finding other miserably resonating souls. 

The law of attraction brings like people together.  And, it brings additional similarly resonating circumstance into our lives.

Focus on misery and those more miserable brings what into your life do you thing?

Ever have an office Sad Sack who comes in with a cloud over their head and goes around telling their tales of woe attempting to find people to share misery with? 

Notice how they light up when they find someone who shares a misery?  Perhaps even they get into a “my misery trumps your misery” kind of discussion? 

See how they glow a bit brighter in this… until they trail off, looking for more misery for next time?

The way to be truly happy, is to be grateful for what we have in life.   That is for what we have in life inside of us.  Right now.  Not for what we do not have.  Not for what we have more than others.  Not for what others have or don’t have. 

For what we have in our lives, right now. 

To ever experience true happiness and joy, we must be truly present and truly grateful for what we have, right now.

If we are hungry, we might be grateful that we have senses and have lived as long as we have.  If we have sight in one eye, we might be grateful that we have memories of seeing with  two eyes, and that we can enjoy the gifts and beauty of sight with one eye.

The alternative is to try to be grateful that we are less hungry than someone else, who we assume is miserable.  Or, that we try to be grateful that the man with no eyes, would call us king.

Yet, can you see, how the person who is hungry, if they are grateful that they were alive, would in fact be happier than we?  Or, that the man who was blind, might be grateful that they enjoy sublime pleasures on  hearing things like crickets (not better than us by the way, this being akin to misery likes company).  

So, this premiss of being happy to find someone that is “less fortunate” than we also requires they be miserable for having less…

For, if the person had less than we, and was grateful and happy none the less, all we really need to learn is that in their true gratitude lies their happiness.

Thus, we do not need to find those less fortunate.  We need only learn to be grateful for our lives, such as they are.

Peace and love,

Yucel

 

Time, The Coin of Life

Have you ever rushed to get somewhere, mindless of and frustrated by where you were?  The time between the here you were and the there you wanted to be?  In my past, I had often rushed to get somewhere in just such hurried harried haste.   At some point, when we learn better, we realize joy and life are the journey itself. 

In the words of Greg Anderson:

 “Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”

Recently, I have driven on the same very roads I had rushed to get past in years past.  Roads with vistas beyond breathtakingly beautiful.  Vistas virtually ignored in years past.

The roads, in the past, were as obstacles between where I was and where I thought I wanted to be.  ( for more on wanting see also:  http://choose.ws/2009/11/10/positive-pivots/choosing/how-to-get-what-i-want/yucel/ )  The company journeying with me were not appreciated.  The vistas, went largely unappreciated. 

I received an email today which had a version of this quote within it.  On googling it, I found the source of and original form of the quote.

“Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.”  – Lillian Dickson

My journeys in the past, often were like coins spent on time wasted.

I had spent the only thing we ever have in life, which is time, to kill the only thing we ever have in life, which is time.

Time is the journey.

Today when I drive these same beautiful roads, I appreciate the time I have, perhaps behind a slower driver, the chance this provides for me to slow down, to be present to my company, to view and enjoy the scenery around me, the time I have to be with my thoughts.  This is my time.  This is my life.

Time is the journey.  Time is my journey.  Time is our journey.

Time is the very coin of life.

Enjoy and embrace every fractional instant of it.

On any road, in any place, there are joys to be enjoyed, if we are present to and grateful for them.  If we choose to fill our lives with them.

Fill your life with joys. 

Find things to be grateful for right were you are. 

Use the time you have to enjoy the life you have.

The roads are the same, only I transformed am changed.

Yours in journey,

Yucel

Special Occasion Patience Parable

“A friend of mine opened his wife’s underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

‘This, – he said – isn’t any ordinary package.’

He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

‘She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion.

Well, I guess this is it.

He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died.

He turned to me and said:

‘Never save something for a special occasion.

Every day in your life is a special occasion’.

I still think those words changed my life.

Now I read more and clean less.

I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.

I spend more time with my family, and less at work.

I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.

I no longer keep anything.

I use crystal glasses every day…

I’ll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.

I don’t save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words ‘Someday…’ and ‘ One Day…’ are fading away from my dictionary..

If it’s worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now…

I don’t know what my friend’s wife would have done if she knew she wouldn’t be there the next morning, this nobody can tell.

I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.
She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.

I’d like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food.

It’s these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.

Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.”

Yours in life,

Yucel

Show up and See them as they are now

I was reminded recently at an Abundance and Gratitude seminar how silly we sometimes act when we reencounter people from our past.  If you are like me, you have changed maybe a bit over the years.  While some of the youthful glow of our past is nice to rekindle and relive every now and again, sometimes it’s just plain disconcerting.
 
For instance, have you ever noticed how a bunch of 30, 40 or 50 year old men or women, reuniting with high school, college or old army buddies whom they haven’t seen in 5-30 years, start taking and acting like a bunch of drunken adolescent boys and girls when they get together?   
 
Well, I’ve been guilty of that.  It can be fun, sure.  It can also leave me with a hang over that I just cannot shake off like I used to back in the day.  Also, it can get in the way of showing up and connecting anew with old friends as we are today. 
 
By carrying and reliving again and again, these past stories, we cannot move the relationships truly forward with us into the present and beyond.  These friends remain once in a while friends, instead of people we incorporate more integrally into our lives today. 
 
They see us and we see them as we were.  To be friends today requires being present to who we are today.
 
My mother and I, a long story, had been estranged for years.  It annoyed the heck out of me when she tried to treat me like the 8 year old boy she had been familiar with when I was all growed up. 
 
It’s much better now with she and I.  We have an adult relationship.  She is still my mother.  I’m grateful for the life she has giving me.  She sees me as who I am now, which I appreciate greatly.  Much of this change came with me though through my transformation.   I had a clear the air conversation with her.  I saw her as she was and appreciated her as she was.  I showed up authentically, shedding baggage of the past.  Living in the now.  Our relationship changed tremendously for the better along with this transformation.  The transformation that began within me.
 
When you see someone you have known and not seen in a while, parent, friend, child, associate, whatever, try showing up as who you are now
 
While you are at it,  ask them, “Who are you now”?
See them as they are now.  You might be surprised how grateful they are.  I know I am grateful for my mother seeing me for who I am now.
My children hopefully will benefit from this insight as I see them for who they are as they are approaching various stages of late childhood to early adulthood and beyond.  My old friendships I should be able to weight today, while still being able to smile at yesteryear.
Authenticity in the now is a tremendous gift to ones self. 
 

 

 

 

Everything happens in the present.  Even the past. 

Show up authentically as you are now.   See your loved ones as they are now. 

Can you envision the tremendous difference this slight shift could make?

 Lovingly yours in the now,

Yucel

 

We’re here for a good time

  • “We’re Here for a Good Time, Not a Long Time.”           

                                                                         —  Tamara Lynn

 

Recently this phrase, which I heard at a meeting, brought a smile to my face as it resonated with me and my beliefs on life and our time here.  Though I’m not sure if it was a requote, this had little bearing on the smiles the turn of phrase initiated with me and other folks present, so I jotted it down for your and posterity’s pleasure.

I guess it captures for me in a handy little turn of phrase what is also espoused by many New Thought and Self Help Modalities of nature of what a good life is in the time we have in this incarnation.

Examples of where else we see this philosophy include:

  • Real Love (www.reallove.com) a teaching that goes something like:   If I feel badly, I am doing or thinking something wrong.
  • Abraham Hicks (www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php) teaches we to be choosing better feeling thoughts
  •  Alcoholics Anonymous strives for and believes in a Creator who wants us to be Happy, Joyous and Free

This list is by no means exhaustive as many of the gamut of self help books out there generally say something to this effect. 

And how to have a good time?

Well, if I am grateful, allowing, present, and have done the work to know what I want, I’m usually pretty peaceful and happy.

What makes you happy and peaceful?

Happily yours,

Yucel