If they treat us with a disrespect or a rudeness, there must be some element within us where in we are  feeling disrespectful to ourselves.  

This general rule became clear to me during a sermon at NVC by Rev. Michelle Medrano Sunday, 2-28-2010.  I had a more specific personal experience with this phenomenon, when I realized that I kept attracting women into my life, romantically, who were either unavailable or unreliable.  

On discussing my situation with my friend “G” it was suggested I was in some way not arriving available or reliable to myself.  That if I arrived available and reliable to myself, that I would not even “see” women (romantically) who were other than reliable and available.  

While this advise sounded sagacious, and indeed was indeed just the sage tip I needed, figuring out how to arrive available and reliable to myself was a bit of a trick.  Still, having the question firmly in hand, that is how to arrive available and reliable personally, I was by measures able to achieve my desired results. 

In life, where we notice people inconveniencing us, if we notice in what way, and if we look into ourselves for the question, of what is it that is missing within us, perhaps we may gain the results we prefer.

We cannot change the behaviors of people, unless we change ourselves. 

By changing ourselves, other people’s reactions to us change, while simultaineously we attract a set of people resonant with and repel people dissonant with our new vibrations.

 

Who is the fairest of us all?  Ever have someone ask you, “what kind of a ‘such and such’ are you anyway?” 

What kind of such and such are you to have behaved in some way to this person that they feel so put out?  Why are they so offended?  What makes them so frustrated?  So angry?

What have they done to deserve you in their miserable otherwise perfect lives anyway?

Mirror mirror on the wall, the answer is within us all.

We are mirrors of one another, one and all.  By the process of mirroring, for someone to have such anger toward you, to feel you such a villain, they  must see this villainy somehow within themselves. 

We mirror the horror within them, when they see us as horrible.

We mirror the love within them, when they see us as lovable.

We mirror the thief within them, when they see us thieving.

We mirror the connection within them, when they see us connecting.

We are in fact all connected through mirroring to each other, the world and the universe.

Mirroring is one of the simplest ways to realise our connection with the whole.  If we see it outside us, it lies also within us.  Thus we are connected.  Mirroring is the device through which we may see through the separation illusion. 

If we see it outside us, it is within us.  We are thus connected internally, with what we see externally.   And so we are whole with and connected to all we see as “outside” us.

What we see is what we are.  Mirrors are we, one and all. 

If we see it anywhere without, it lies somewhere within.

Whatever we see as being in others is a mirror of what we know or have yet to learn lies in ourselves.

If you feel you have been wronged by someone, what within you has wronged?

If you feel you have been loved by someone else, what within you has loved?

The choices for you are infinite… what will you see?

As you are what you see, it may be wise learning to see what you perfer to be.

To see is to be.

Mirror mirror on the wall,

what you see is what you be. 

I am grateful for them all…

Or at least am learning to be…

Grateful to see you,

Yucel

Have you every found yourself wondering at the authenticity of things, of your feelings,  of others?

Do you seem at times to be immersed in a bit of inauthenticity, which drive you to complain: 

She said she was going to do one thing, and did another!

The all you can eat burgers and lose 20 lbs diet, made my ass even bigger!!

But you said you wanted me to do that!!!

And so on…

We’ll have you ever considered how the life we perceive is one big mirror, and if we are seeing inauthenticity, inauthenticity may in affect be our own reflection:

Have you never given your phone number to someone you never intended to talk to?

Have you never considered that eating all the burgers you could eat is how your ass got big in the first place??

Have you never asked someone to do something for you, like wash your car, only to complain at the details of the job???

And so on…

I recently detected a pattern of how people were showing up in  my life.  People who were drawn to me and to whom I was drawn…  in patterns I considered, well frustrating.

On deeper examination, what I realized further was, these pattern existed for me since childhood.

These people, the new people, were mirrors of old reflections still shimmering within me.

To change how people are showing up in my life, I need to get more authentic about what is within me.

Isn’t it obviously inauthentic?  

If I keep choosing to shine out “all you can eat cheeseburgers for me,” my ass may grow larger in the mirror of my reflections.  Yes?

I do love cheeseburgers though.  Therefore, I need to take care to choose wisely ( authentically ), as opposed for example to choose opposites or in a willy nilly fashion:

I choose a no more delicious cheeseburger for me punishment diet!

A better more satisfying choice for me might be to choose something like:

I desire reasonable portions of delicious cheeseburgers, warm from the grill, with ample ketchup…

And so on…

Deliciously yours,

Yucel

 

 

 

It was recently shared with me how carrying around a resentment toward something, particularly toward someone, and going around with this resentment, plotting the well deserved demise of this offending person, secure in the comfort that if only they knew, or when they found out the error of their ways, and anticipating the sweetness we expect for when they get their comeuppance, and so forth, we are very much self administering poison in the hope of killing this someone else.

We know this to be true; because, the bitter comfort of our revenge and self righteous plottings offer only meager relief from the turmoil we feel and negative energy bath we take while focused on these resentments.  It feels just awful when we bask in the glow of our victim-hood, plotting revenge, brewing and ravenously consuming poisons of our own making.

As we have engaged in these pursuits, for I know I have, it is accompanied by appropriately dark moods.  Remember? 

We go around carrying these clouds of darkness as we search for others willing to agree on how sweet is taste of the poison we concoct and ingest.  We offer them a taste … and, isn’t it sweet when we find company willing to sample and share in our misery?

Ah, the vindication we feel when passing the cup of poison to willing, agreeing friends, who agree how we are a victim … 

We are a victim… of our own poison.

I have noticed in the last year, how much better it feels to take responsibility for our share of our discomfort and allow our perceived victimizer the dignity of leading their own lives as we lead ours.  If they are in fact so “wrong,” isn’t it their lesson to learn?  Who amoung us are so sin free that we are responsible to teach or punish these offenders for their ways?  Do share?

Me, I have enough to do cleaning my own house, and to share what knowledge I have with only those who are freely open to it.  And, to discover more knowledge to further my growth, inner peace, and hence my true happiness.  

This I feel is best accomplished within.  I have not always felt this way nor have I always been so peaceful as now.

What do you think?  Or should I inquire, how peaceful do you feel?

Peacefully yours,

Yucel

Recently during a yoga class, I was introduced to the concept of “Namaste.”  Falling in love with the concept, I of course started to create namaste in my life.  Within a week, I noticed a friend of mine wearing a T-shirt with namaste and a definition written out on it:

Namaste:   “I honor the place in you where the entire universe dwells.  The place in you that is of love, of light, of peace and of truth.  When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me…  We are one.”  

All of this printed out in rainbowish colored font, which I am sure I would not have noticed had it not been for my little initiation in the yoga class.

The definition I prefer, and was provided in the yoga class was along the lines of this:

Namaste:  The spirit within me, recognizes and respects the spirit within you. 

Wikipedia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Namaste ) among other definitions has something like the one from my yoga class as well.

Namaste:  “…is a common spoken greeting or salutation in the Indian subcontinent … has multi-religious or else common usage where it may simply mean “I bow to you.” In religious formulation, the meaning can be explained as:

• “I bow to that inherent in you” (“That” refers to divinity, or that which is divine’)
• “I respect divinity within you that is also within me.” (Here, “that” refers to divinity, or that which is divine.)
• “The light within me honors the light within you.” (in yoga)”

We sat around a circle in my yoga class, introduced elves, saying:  “I am Yucel.”  And the others folks in the circle would say back in unison, “Namaste, Yucel.”    It felt profoundly peaceful going around a circle of some tens of persons and in response to their introduction saying to them a heart felt “Namaste.”

There were people in the circle, perhaps they were loud, or perhaps had a few large donuts, with every meal for the last several years, who before I greeted them in this way, I was focused on the perceived donuts, and during/after an exchange of namaste with them, I saw their spirit, the shell, which I had had judgement on (and had been judging myself …   http://choose.ws/2009/07/13/what-is-reality/mirroring/judgement-on-the-judgemental/yucel/ ) melted away, to one where now the mirror held for me spirit, grace, respect and love.

Now I utilize Namaste as a way to greet and acknowledge my many spirit mirrors.

Sometimes I use namaste to greet people, often silently in my head while passing.   Or to bring me back into focus when drifting during conversation, into perhaps judgement or other less respectful and self harmful places.

Or I greet flies with a namaste, and as I write this, I see a fly.  Coincidence?

And, I grace my food, saying namaste to the food, and to the spirit of the creation which gave up its carnation so that I may eat.  I recall as a child or earlier in my life, watching American Indians thanking the spirit of their kill for giving to them their life so that they might eat (or something to that effect) and I say namaste in to my food in a similar vein.

I have heard or read Michael Bechwith of the Agape International Spiritual Center( http://www.agapelive.com/ ) say, that food needs blessing to activate its full nutrient value, especially heavily processed factory food.  My food tastes better to me after I bless it, acknowledge it, and am grateful for it when I grace it with a prayer, or a simple heart felt namaste.

And, I say namaste to plants I eat.  Sometimes to the air I breath.

And, I say namaste to you.

Namaste and peace,

Yucel