I was reminded recently at an Abundance and Gratitude seminar how silly we sometimes act when we reencounter people from our past. If you are like me, you have changed maybe a bit over the years. While some of the youthful glow of our past is nice to rekindle and relive every now and again, sometimes it’s just plain disconcerting.
For instance, have you ever noticed how a bunch of 30, 40 or 50 year old men or women, reuniting with high school, college or old army buddies whom they haven’t seen in 5-30 years, start taking and acting like a bunch of drunken adolescent boys and girls when they get together?
Well, I’ve been guilty of that. It can be fun, sure. It can also leave me with a hang over that I just cannot shake off like I used to back in the day. Also, it can get in the way of showing up and connecting anew with old friends as we are today.
By carrying and reliving again and again, these past stories, we cannot move the relationships truly forward with us into the present and beyond. These friends remain once in a while friends, instead of people we incorporate more integrally into our lives today.
They see us and we see them as we were. To be friends today requires being present to who we are today.
My mother and I, a long story, had been estranged for years. It annoyed the heck out of me when she tried to treat me like the 8 year old boy she had been familiar with when I was all growed up.
It’s much better now with she and I. We have an adult relationship. She is still my mother. I’m grateful for the life she has giving me. She sees me as who I am now, which I appreciate greatly. Much of this change came with me though through my transformation. I had a clear the air conversation with her. I saw her as she was and appreciated her as she was. I showed up authentically, shedding baggage of the past. Living in the now. Our relationship changed tremendously for the better along with this transformation. The transformation that began within me.
When you see someone you have known and not seen in a while, parent, friend, child, associate, whatever, try showing up as who you are now.
While you are at it, ask them, “Who are you now”?
See them as they are now. You might be surprised how grateful they are. I know I am grateful for my mother seeing me for who I am now.
My children hopefully will benefit from this insight as I see them for who they are as they are approaching various stages of late childhood to early adulthood and beyond. My old friendships I should be able to weight today, while still being able to smile at yesteryear.
Authenticity in the now is a tremendous gift to ones self.
Everything happens in the present. Even the past.
Show up authentically as you are now. See your loved ones as they are now.
Can you envision the tremendous difference this slight shift could make?
Lovingly yours in the now,
Yucel